Leftovers: Volume I

Accoustic Guitar
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Acoustic guitar.
Well, I was playing the other day my acoustic guitar.
I love my acoustic guitar.
Acoustic guitar.
Tar, I never tire of my acoustic guitar.

Well, my acoustic guitar is with me all the time.
I never leave home without it.
If anyone says, "You got any identity?"
I just say, "Well, what about my...
Acoustic guitar?"

Cur Dog
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

All rit! Yeppy-do.

There was a man named Cur. He had a dog named Cur.
And I must concur that he didn't know what it's fer
With a cur and a bur.
'Cause it was cold. And he had a cold.
And if I could be so bold as to blow my nold.

All rit! Yeah!

Well, there's a guy with teeth. He had a dog named Cur.
And the dog named Cur had some canine teeth.
And the teeth were named Cur. And the cur named Cur.
And I must concur he didn't know what it was fer.
I said, uh, cur cur cur...

All rit!

The dog: He went to the get a bone.
To dig up his hole. Got a bone. Named it Cur.
Bony marone a jonie honie bony, a phony monie with his cur.
He had a cur dog, je de cur...
A dog woof, woof, woof de dog de cur woof dog de cur...

Waterbelly
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

My name is the big old Waterbelly.
I've got water for a belly.
Sometimes I go swimmin'
And people think that I'm a kiddie pool.
They dive in my stomach
And jump around in my water belly.
My big old water belly.

Well, hey, I'm a Waterbelly.

Waterbelly.
You know that I'm a Waterbelly.
I ain't nothing but a Waterbelly,
Come and practice your backstroke.
Waterbelly. Water, botter, botter, hotter belly.

Rat In My House
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Hey! Do you dare to come in my house? Do you know there's a rat in my house? It can eat all your food while you're at the table tryin' to get something to eat! You got a dang rat! Tryin' to get somethin' of your peas, and your pizza, and microwave meals! There's a big rat! Aren't you afraid of that rat? Aughh!

Rat in My House II
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

What you talkin' about? You and your dang love songs. I don't know what you're talking about like a bunch of freaks. You just go around the house scratching on the door, knocking down the house, breakin' down the window pane. And all of a sudden you take your claws and rip my stomach open and get my guts and my liver, feed it to your cat for dinner. Is that what you want? To feed a liver to your cat? Haaa?

Christmas
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Christmas is my favorite time of year.
It's a time for spreading all of your holiday cheer.
O Christmas: What we can't do without.
But you better watch out, and don't you pout.
And Christmas is the time,
When you gotta waste your time at the malls...

Stereotypical Rap Song
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

My rhymes, they're like a maniac.
It's like a natural aphrodisiac.
My rhymes they cut all blows to the extreme.
You rock my rhymes.
You're rockin' like you're in a dream.
Rock my rhymes like in a dream,
But you rock my rhymes to the extreme.
You ain't got nothin' on me, homeboy,
So get off my tail or I'll knock you up the butt.
That's what I'll do.
It's like a natural aphrodisiac!

Stereotypical rap song...

Come on get away from me.
Ain't got all that longevity
For your raps, they don't last anytime,
But mine, they will be divine.
They'll last forever and ever and ever
Till eternity dies out,
But even after that my raps will live.

If you're walkin' in the store and you see
When you see a tape in the cheap rack,
Well, I can guarantee that it won't be my raps,
Because my raps are like a natural aphrodisiac!

You see the cheap rack with all the homeboys who try to make,
Try to make it like me, but they can't do it.
Don't you see?
You don't have to have no talent to be a rapper.
You just talk and you talk and you talk.
All you gotta do is throw in the word aphrodisiac.

Stereotypical rap song. Stereotypical rap song.
Why don't you all sing along?
Well, we don't sing, we just talk
In the stereotypical rap song.
In the stereotypical rap song.

Sometimes we get a lady that can sing
Like Diana Ross from The Supremes.
We get 'em in there singin' loud.
They sing it good. I don't know how,
'Cause I can't sing, I just talk and talk.
Rappin', it really sucks.

In the cheap rack, you see the fly mothers tryin' to get their groove.
Well, I cut up the groove and I spit it out my face.
Stereotypical rap song. Talkin' 'bout the brothers who ain't doin' no good.
Stereotypical rap song. Singin' "number one record" when you ain't even released it.
Stereotypical rap song. It's like a natural aphrodisiac.
I get off beat, 'cause I'm allowed.

You Are Not My Wife
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

I was at a low point in my life.
Couldn't take it, you not bein' my wife.
Then I saw you full of life.
Thought that that would end the strife,
But it didn't end the strife,
Cause you're still not my wife.
You're not my wife anymore.
You're not my wife anymore.
When I saw you in the rain,
I thought it would take away,
I thought it would take away all the pain.
Thought I had something to gain,
But now I know the truth and it hurts me, too.
It hurts, the truth it does.
Truth, it hurts me, yes it does,
That you are not my wife.
You are not my wife.

Bronco Bill
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

My name is Bronco Bill. I live on a big ol' hill.
And I get my thrill from rolling down that hill.
And I splash into a pond. And I swim into a lake.
And then I go down and visit the sea people
Who live on the bottom with the plankton.
I live on a big, ol' hill.
My name is Bronco Bill. I live on a big, ol' hill.
Well, the sea people, they come and eat my guts.
But I don't care, 'cause I got some left over.
I feed 'em some plankton, they're happy.
Little parasites rollin' around. My name is...
My name is Bronco Bill. I live on a big, ol' hill.
My name is Bronco Bill. And on that hill I spill.
I spill some water everywhere. And I don't know why hay.
I don't know why ha hay. A weeka sniffle flea...

Love of Passion
written by Noby Nobriga

The other night, I saw you partying hard with your best friends.
I didn't want to look, but I did miss in.
You were just being herself, and I couldn't believe it was you.
What was I supposed to do? So I thought no about you.
And I left and sped away, too fast for love.
The life was stripped from me, because you never really loved me.

I give you my love of passion.
You take it and use it to
Send my heart away from you.
Yeah, you're on you.
I give you my love of passion.
Will you ever take it?
Or will you just keep breaking
My love of passion?

The Phantom of the Garage
Instrumental

Underdogs of the Looney Tunes
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Well, Sylvester the cat, he was a swell old dude.
But he chased the Tweety Bird, and Tweety thought it was rude.
And you know how it goes with the underdogs on Looney Toons.
They always get beat by the Granny with a broom.
On the Looney Toons.

Take Bugs Bunny for example, he was a little hare.
Till Elmer Fudd came by everywhere.
But Bugsy was too smart, and he outsmarted that fart.
And now Elmer Fudd he wishes he wasn't born.

Now, take another example, Speedy Gonzales.
He was a Mexican rat who loved to live in his palace.
But Daffy Duck came by, but Speedy was the underdog.
So Speedy outran that quackity duck. Speedy Gonzales.

Those are the underdogs of the Looney Toon cartoons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. (Wrong cartoon, pal. Get off.)
Looney Toons: That was a Looney Toon.
The underdogs of the Looney Toons. Toons.

Lovin' the Night Away
written by Noby Nobriga

I think about you.
I don't know what to do,
'Cause I love you so very much.
I see you in my mind.
It is you I love.
It is love you're made of.
'Tis you I want to be with,
Now why can't you say,
"Let's love each other, and
Let's hold each other's hand.
We can hold each other every day,
And we can kiss the night away"?

Lovin' the night away,
Feelin' the night away.
I don't know what I'll do
When I sing this to you.
Kissin' the night away,
Lovin' the night away.
What could we do
To bring love together?
Lovin' the night away.
Kissin' you, I love you.
Baby, I want you.

The Louie Tune
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Louie, Louie. Oh no, and we can go...

Galorshes
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

I'm mopin' along on the trail. Mopin' along on this trail.
Walk to the mall, buy me some galorshes, galorshes for me feet.

Buy me some garlorshes, put on my feet...
Walkin' in the rain, it pours on my head...
So, I got me some galorshes to wear on my feet.
Rain is pourin' all over my head.
Got me those galorshes and an umbrella.
Got me some galorshes...
Got me some galorshes and an umbrella.

But it rained and my car was washed...
So, I got angry and threw away my galorshes.
I got so very angry and threw away my galorshes.
Somebody picked 'em up and wore 'em for boots...
So, now I got some blue jeans to wear on my day.
It's my birthday, so come on and play.
But I ain't go no galorshes to wear on my feet,
'Cause it never rains in Jimminy Spreet.

To You
written by Noby Nobriga

I waited here for you until the night was through,
But you never came to say goodbye. Now why can't we even try?
Tomorrow dawns today. I wish you could hear me say
That I wish we could stay together. It would be forever.
Now life must continue on, but I still dedicate this song,
The one that reminds me of you, the one I dedicate to you,
To you.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
In love needs to be us two when I say that I love you.
Won't you say that you do. Won't you say that you will.
Won't you say that I love you.
Every now and then I think if we would have been,
If we didn't leave each other, and we didn't find each other's hand.
I remember the yesterdays. "I love ya," we used to say.
Now the love has gone and left behind a murdered heart that used to be kind.
I try hard to forget how I held you when we'd sit
In the chair that you loved so. I think I could ever you go,
Let you sew.

Why can't I ever be with you? Love you forever, I do.
When I say that I love you, won't you say that you do.
Won't you say that you will. Won't you say that I love you,
Love you.

Go Baby!
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

(One, two, ready, go!
Yeah! One, two, ready, hit it!)

Go, baby, say yes to me. Yo, baby, say yes to me.
Yeah. Baby, I love you, and you know it's true.
Baby, I don't know what else to do,
But say that I love you.
Baby, I do really love you.
Baby, you know it's true. Girl, you know it's true
That I love you. You know it's true.
I do love you. Baby, say you do love me too.
Yeah. Baby, you know that it is true
That I do really love you, baby. Take it now.
Baby, I love you. Baby, say you do love me too.
Baby, I really love you.
Honey, I love you. You know that I do really love you.
So, come on down to The Place.
Tell me that you love me right in front of my face.
Put your arms around me so I can hold you tight.
Let us go away tonight, away tonight.
Baby, I'm hype, Kyper fauk. That's it, 'cause I know I'm hot.
You know I love you so.
Baby, you know. Let us go. I love you, and you love me.
You know you do, 'cause I'll make you see if you don't.
Baby, I love you.

It Came from the Grave
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

It came from the grave!
From the pits of Hell!
It came from the innermost workings of the demon system!
It's name was...

Do the Knobby
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Well, get up, up there on the stage, and you know what to do, is do The Knobby. Now let me tell you how you need to do The Knobby, 'cause I'm sure none of you know what to do. Get your hands goin' around and around, around in big circles like the tassels on a clown. That's right, get 'em goin' really really fast, in the opposite directions, not path by path. Now shake your booty back and forth. You know that's it, break down the fort. Now let's see how you're doin'. You're doin', ah, not so well. But I'll tell you what. Let's try to tell. Now get your booty and shake it back and forth again. Shake it side to side. Now take a step over. Now that's it, that's right: left right left. Make the steps easy, and I show you what's left. Walk around in big ol' circles. If you want to, walk around each other. And, hey, there's the circus. Now that's not all that you need to do The Knobby. But I'll continue my next verse on how to do The Knobby. Do The Knobby. That's the dance to do, 'cause it's hip, it's hype, and I'm singin' it to you. So do it, home boy. So, do it, home girl. You know how to do it, not just a twirl. It's cool, it's bad, and you know it is happenin'. So I'll tell you what to do if you want. Break it down. So now, tell you what. Time to do The Knobby. Continue in this song. This is hype. You know this is dumb. This is happenin', it's a dance, it's pretty easy to do, but you gotta be hype to be able to do this right. So go around, walk around your friends. Now shake your booty again and again once more, friend. Now get your arms flyin' like a big bird in the sky. I tell you just why, 'cause it's happenin', boy, it's fly. This is hip. You know it. It's easy to dance. Walk around your friends again, and I'll show you a brand new stance. Go out there and sway your whole body side to side to side. And I'll tell you what not to do, don't stand behind your hide. This is a happenin' dance. Don't be jealous, don't be cruel. You'll know what to do when I tell you what there is to do. Go down and show your friends you know it's really happenin'. So you know I'll tell you what to do now in this brand new dance. Go, go. Do The Knobby. That's right. Do The Knobby. Go! Get it goin', friends. You know how to do it. Now we'll do some more grooves that requires no bends. Just walk out on the floor, and I'll tell you you do need to bend! Go out there. Go down on your knees. Go down on your knees like you're ready to get down and pray. But I'll tell you what to do. Lay your hands up in the air and just sway. That's it. Do it back and forth. Put your hands together, make them go into a clap. That's right, that's it. I'll tell you where you're at. You're gettin' near the end of how to do my dance. It's cool, it's happenin', it's hype. You know what to do. I'll tell you what, friend, you're almost done. I'll say this again, 'cause you know it is happenin'. So now, my friend, here's the last move to do is get up and scream and know to be yourself. Be wild. That's right. Just be yourself, be wild, be happenin', be hype, be rockin', be coolin' it. You know how it be. Take my word for it. You can be cool if you just be yourself. Get up there and do The Knobby and just be yourself. That's all The Knobby is, is you bein' yourself. Just get up there and move around. You know what to do, 'cause my song is over that I'm singin' to you. So get up and do it right and you will be so hype. I tell you, my friend, just be yourself. That's all there is to bein'.

Victoria's Secret
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

How does it feel when you're walkin' in a mall,
And you pass by the lingerie store and you wanna caress them all?
But you're in public and everyone's looking.
You can't go in there, much less...
But you're with your girl, so you have an excuse
To go into Victoria's Secret.

Victoria's Secret, I'm in love with you.

So I said, "Hey, honey, would you like an outfit?"
She said, "Sure, let's go and get one."
So I pulled out my gun, and I held up Victoria's Secret.
The lady at the register: I told her to close the doors.
I hid them behind the counter, then I went to my chores.

What I did, I got the lingerie:
Nuzzled up against it that day.
Victoria's Secret has never seen a guy like me.
Finally, they untied themselves from behind the counter.
They saw me nuzzling the lingerie: some purple teddy.

Needless to say, I was dumped that day by my girlfriend, Sue.
But the woman at the cash register--well, we're goin' to the zoo.
She appreciates a guy that likes lingerie the way I do.
So, if you like lingerie, call the toll-free number:
1-800-555-LINGERIE

Lingerie at Victoria's Secret: That's how I married Sue.
Lingerie at Victoria's Secret: It works for me and you.

Need a Cow
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Need a cow. Need a horse.
Need a cow. Need a horse.
Hell, we need a whole damn farm!

Then we gotta get a cow, gotta get a horse.
Gotta get a sheep and a big ol' pig.
We go down to the store, get us a pig.
He has to be a very big pig.
If he's not a very big pig, we'll have to find one somewhere.
We go on down to the land of Far,
And we find us a big ol' pig.
Pay not so much money for the pig, but
Hey, we get our lig!
So, we load him up on the truck,
Take him down to home.
On that farm we put him in a sty, and
Hey, we look up at the sky!
For no reason, we look at the sky,
We see a cloud in the shape,
The shape of a big ol' pig we see,
And the sky is a big ol' pape.
Oh, that pape is as big,
It's bigger than the gnat,
Bigger than the gnat that I swatted with the knat.
That knat was from my woman.
She's now my wife.
And that woman, oh yeah boy,
Is the biggest sow alive!

Oh, we need a cow. Need a horse.
Need a cow. Need a horse.
Hey, my woman's a big ol' horse!

I Bleed for You (Reprise)
written by Human Drama

I can't tell a lie from an answered prayer,
But I know when I'm cut and burning.
One day I will put down the knife,
Only when I trust another to hold it.

I bleed for you, on my knees for you.
I'll hand you heaven; don't trade it for trinkets.

I bleed for you...
I bleed for you, on my knees for you.
I'll hand you heaven; don't trade it for trinkets.
No, don't you trade it for those trinkets. Uh uh.

This darn wind will change direction.
It'll stop you dead as you walk.
Holding a nightmare called memory,
You led and held me to it.

No, no.
Oh, yeah, I bleed. Blood transfusion, man!

Do-Wa-Diddy?
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

There she was just a walkin' down the street,
Singin' do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do.
Next thing I know she had a piece of meat,
Singing do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do.
It was steak. Yeah, buddy.
Wanted that steak 'cause my mouth was salivatin'.

Next thing you know, down the street,
Singin'...
Wanted that steak so I took after her,
Singin'...
I got it from her hand,
From her hand I got it and you gotta understand.

I was hungry,
Singin'...
Next thing you know, I learned how to sew,
Singin'...
I got the needle, stuck it in the steak,
Pulled the string and got my food.

Eatin' that food.
Eatin' that steak like here's no tomorrow,
'Cause I'm hungry pot-belly with my stomach.
I ate. It was good, so good that I called it food.

Singin'...
There she was just a walkin' down the road,
Singin'...
That was good, Chuck.
Chuck's over here, he's playin' my piano.
Chuck is over here. He's so cool,
Singin'...
Look, a quarter. Pick it up.
Whoops, it's on tails, so I got some bad luck.

Leah
written by Noby Nobriga

When I first met you, I felt something inside.
I just couldn't tell you, but I didn't want to hide
That what I felt was truly love.
It was love at first sight, I'm sure of.
Now I dream about you every day and night.
Now just about two years ago, I revealed my love to you.
I always wished it could be a love between us two.
Oh, say you love me. Oh, say you love me.

Leah, keeper of beauty. Leah, the angel of love.
Leah, I can't help being in love for you and me.

Today I play this song for you, and I play it all the time,
Thinking of how I always wish that someday you'll be mine.
If that day should never come, at least let me say
That the one thing I want from you is just to hear your name.

Leah, your name is just for me, Leah, to hear and cry about.
Leah, there is no other way, Leah, for me to accept that,
Leah, that you don't love me. Leah, I really love you.
Leah, your name is just for me. Leah, there is no other way.