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Rover
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

There was once a man. He owned a dog. The dog's name was Rover. Rover used to go around all day doing nothing of consequence. But the thing is: he liked to hump the neighbors' legs, and they got very angry at that. So, one day, Rover was neutered. Poor ol' Rover, they took him up to the vet and just slashed it right off. And now ol' Rover, well, he goes around crying all day longing for the days of yore. And now Rover wishes that he could find a whore.

The Fake Song
Instrumental

You Really Lost That Lovin' Feelin'
written by the Righteous Brothers

(Two, three...)

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
You're trying hard not to show it, baby.
But, baby... baby, I love it.

You lost that lovin' feelin'.
Whoa, that lovin' feelin'.
You lost that lovin' feelin',
Now it's gone, gone, gone.
Whoa.
(Bow bow bow bow bow.)

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah when I reach for you.
And I'm beginning to miss little things that you used to do.
You know I just feel like crying, baby.
'Cause, baby, somethin' beautiful's dying.

You lost that lovin' feelin'.
Whoa, that lovin' feelin'.
You lost that lovin' feelin',
Now it's gone, gone, gone.
Whoa, whoa.

Baby, baby, I'd get down on my knees for you.
If you would only do the things you used to do.
We had a love, a love, a love you don't find every day.
So don't, don't, don't let it slip away.
I said baby, baby, baby.
I'm beggin' you please,
Beggin' you please.
I need your love.
So bring it on back,
Bring it on back.

You've got to bring back that lovin' feelin'.
Whoa, that lovin' feelin'.
Bring back that lovin' feelin',
'Cause it's gone, gone, gone.
Whoa, whoa.

A Love Song (Flo)
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

... But it doesn't matter much,
'Cause I still love you
Even stronger than the day
That I first met you
When you comin' by my way.

Flo, I love you.
Don't slip away
For another day.
Flo, I love you.

Let's tone it down a bit now. I'm gonna tell you about Flo. Flo was my only girl. I hope you would know that. I know I did. We met walkin' down the street one day. We saw a girl named Alice with her car stowed. We went by the road to help her out. She owned a diner. I met my friend named Mel. He was a poker buddy of mine. We used to smoke cigars and have a good ol' time. But now, the past few days, ol' Flo... she found somebody new. She left Alice, the show and everything; that's why they got the new waitress. But worst of all, she left me. And the thing is, I don't know if I can stand it anymore, Flo. So I'm singin' this song to help you come back to me. Listen to the words that I say, when I say this thing.

Flo, I love you.
Flo, I love you.
Won't you listen
To the words I have to say?

That's right, Flo. I don't want you to slip away. No.

Flo, I love you.
Flo, I love you.
So, please, come back to me today, Flo.
I can't stand it if you don't, Flo.

Head of Lettuce
adlibbed by Rusty Spell and Noby Nobriga

Head of lettuce all around.
Head of lettuce lookin' like a clown.
(Head of lettuce.)
Head of lettuce: Big and green.
(Head of lettuce. Head of lettuce. Head of lettuce.)
I'm a head of lettuce,
Not behind it.
Yeah!
(Head of lettuce. Head of lettuce.)
Let us have a head of lettuce.
Head of lettuce! (Head of lettuce.)
(Yeah! Hooey, hooey!)
Ho, ho, ha, ho, ho, ha, head of lettuce.

Pump Up the Jam
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Hey, all right, we're gonna some partyin' goin' on tonight! That's right, down in The Place! We are gonna pump up the jam! Wooh!

Latin' Livin'
Instrumental

As You Want It
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Baby,

Tell me how you like it. Oh yeah, let me know how you want it, and I'll give it to you. (Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's the way to go.) Baby, if you want it right, make sure you tell me now so I can ship it along ocean line. That way, it'll take forever to get to you.

That's right. Sun out here in Italy. Ha-ha, beautiful... All the women. Oh, yeah. Sorry, baby, that you're not here. But then again, I hate your hair. You know, one that was blonde but now red? Baby, you screwed up your head.

So, baby, if you become blonde again, I might take your hand. And then, maybe I'll think about taking you to New York on vacation. Or the Grand Canyon. Or New Orleans.

So, baby, let me know how you like it, and I'll ship these raviolis on over to you with Parmesan cheese.

(We're) Livin' On a Prayer
written by Bon Jovi

Once upon a time, not so long ago...

Tommy used to work on the docks.
Union Bay on strike,
He's down on his luck... it's tough, so tough.
Gina works the diner all day:
Workin' for her man, she brings home her pay
For love--oooh, for love.

She says, "You've gotta hold on to what we've got.
It doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not.
We've got each other, and that's a lot.
For love--we'll give it a shot."

Whoa, we're half way there.
Whoa, livin' on a prayer.
Take my hand... we'll make it--I swear.
Whoa, livin' on a prayer.

He's got the six string in hock.
Now he's holdin' in what he used
To make it talk--so tough, oooh, it's tough.
Gina dreams of runnin' away
When she cries in the nighttime and whispers,
"Baby, it's okay... someday."

He said, "We've gotta hold on to what we've got.
It doesn't make a difference
If we make it or not.
We've got each other, and that's a lot.
For love--we'll give it a shot."

Whoa, half way there.
Whoa, living on a prayer.
Take my hand and we'll make it--I swear.
Oh, living on a prayer.

Livin' on a prayer...

Our Redundant Song
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Redun, du, dundant, redundant, dundant.
Dun, du, dunant, redundant, dundant.
Dun, du, dundant, redundant, dundant.
Dun, du, dundant, redundant, redundant.
Redun, dun, dun, dun, du, dundant, dundant.
Dun, du, dun, dun, du, du, du, dundant.
Dun, du, du, du, du, du, du, du, du.
Redundant.

This is redundant. This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant song.

This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant.
This is redundant. This is redundant song.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Dun, dun, dant.
Here's our redundant.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dundant.
Redundant, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, da, dant.
Re, redundant, dundant, da, da, da, song.

Redundant, da, dant, dant.
Re, dun, da, dant, dant.
Redun, dun, edant, dant.
Redundant, redundant.
Redundant. Redundant.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Hm, du, dant, dant.
Re, dun, du, der, da, da, da, dundant.
Dundat, redundant, da, da.
Redundant, da, da, redundant, da, da da.
Redundant de, du, du, du, du, du, song.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Dundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Dundant.
Redundant, redundant, dundant.
Re, redun, dun, edun, dundant.
Re, redun, dun, dun, redundant.
Re, redun, dun, du, dun, redundant.
Re, du, du, du, du, du, redundant.
Re, du, du, du, du, du, redundant.
Redundant.

Re.
Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

Here's our redundant song.
Here's our redundant song.
Why don't you sing along?
Here's our redundant song.

There Was An Old Woman Who Swallowed a Hoof-n-Aegle
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Hey, there was an old woman who swallowed a Hoof-n-Aegle.
Hoof-n-Aegle, Hoof-n-Aegle.
She swallowed a Hoof and an Aegle.
A Hoof, a Hoof, and an Aegle.
The woman said, "Hoof."
The woman said, "Hoof." And an Aegle.

There was a man who walked up to the woman. He said, "Hey... How ya doin'?" She said "Fine" and they walked on as if nothing happened.

But he knew that there was a Hoof and an Aegle.
A Hoof-n-Aegle. A Hoof-n-Aegle. And an Aegle.

Hoofy, Hoof. Breakin' down the Hoof. All right!

There was a little girl who walked to the woman,
And said, "Hey, hey, did you notice? Did you notice something?
Did you notice that you had a Hoof, a Hoof, and an Aegle?"

A Hoof and an Aegle, Hoof and an Aegle.
And an Aegle, Hoof-n-Aegle, Aegle.
Hoof-n-Aegle, Aegle.

And an Aegle.

Break It Down
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Go. Break it down!
A'ight. Let's go. Break it down!

Wild Thang
written by Ton Loc

It's the Wild Thing, baby. One, two, one, two, three...

Workin' all week, nine to five for my money.
So, the weekend comes, I go get live with the honey.
Rollin' down the street, saw this girl and she was pumpin'.
Winked my eye, got into the ride, went to a club was jumpin'.
Introduced myself as Loc, she said, "You're a liar."
Said, "I got it goin' on, baby girl. And I'm on fire."
Took her to the hotel. Said, "You're the king."
Said, "You'll be my queen, if you know what I mean,
And let's do the Wild Thing."

(Wild Thang)

Sock You / Jamaica Man
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Come around. Come around to my place.
Sock you in your face. All around my place.
I put you in your place.

Let me tell ya 'bout...

Hey. Hey, hey, ha, ABC's...
Easy as your ABC's. Simpler than your 123's.

Want you to talk about the man.
He goes a-down to 'Maica man, and then I'll tell you how
We gonna drink Bacardi, and you drink it all day.
And then you have a good time, and you have to say,
"How are ya doin', man?" Oh, yes, indeed.
You come and get a tan on your knees.
Listen to me, man. I'll tell ya right now:
It's Jamaica, man.

Oh, Jamaica, man, man, you come around here.
You come around here: You get you a tropical drink...
Make you think how you love your life.
You take your wife, and you treat her right.
Come down here just in spite of your business day.
Help you make your troubles go away
In Jamaica, man. I said Jamaica, man.

Jamaica: Come along to over here.
Go in my house; I'll drink you a beer.
It's all I can say. Just have a good day
In Jamaica, man.

Said, Jamaica, man, is the place to come.
Have all your water fun.
Oceans galore down here in Jamaica, man.

Say it to you all right now:
Jamaica, man, we have no cows.
It's no country. Get away from that stinkin' place.
Just come to Jamaica, man.

Man... Jamaica, man.
I said Jamaica, man. Oh, talkin' 'bout Jamaica, man.
Oh, right now, Jamaica man.

Hope you enjoyed it, man.

Slash's Love Song
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

One, two, one and two and three and four and
Rock! Oh, let's rock!
Headbangin' loud, we're gonna get on the trout.
Come on to my place, baby. You know how I like it!
You know exactly how I like it, baby!
And you're gonna do it right now, child,
I'll tell you the truth!
What are you talkin' about?
Waaah!
Out here we're gonna get on down!
You may call me perverted...

How Now Brown Cow
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Well, I'm travelin' down to Podunk.
And I said, "I'm gonna stay."
When I go down to Podunk, yay, I say, "What the hay?"
Well, I'm travelin' Box Car Willie.
Box Car Willie, yeah.
That's what they call me in these part of the hills.
Box Car Willy... Jilly Jill.
Box Car Willie.
I'm travelin' down to Podunk now.
I'm travelin' down to Podunk now.
I'm gonna see a cow, because it's all they got.
In the country it's all I ever see.
Podunk, Podunk, Podunk.
Cows with you and me.

How now brown cow
With a terrible spow.
Why do they stay?
Why don't they do something constructive with there lives?
Mooin' all day; mooin' all day in the hay.
Yeah, those cows. Those cows.
How now brown cow.
Oh, me, oh, mow. Why?
What's wrong with you cow?

Skippy Dippy
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Skippy Dippy, Skippy Dippy.
Skippy, Dippy. Skippy, Dippy.

A Night on the Town
adlibbed by Kevin Young

Baby, I saw you downtown
Lookin' all up and around.
Said to myself, "What you doin' alone?"
And I said, "S'cuse me while I go home."

Baby, I was down at your house
Lookin' around for something to grouse.
Said to myself when I saw you there,
I said, "Baby, come and get in my hair!"

Baby, I saw you on the street.
Said to myself, "Hey, you're lookin' kinda neat."
Didn't know what to do, so I saw you there,
And said, "Baby, I wanna go to... something."

Baby, I saw you in a car,
Said to myself, "Well, let's go far."
Took you home and took you to bed,
And you said, "Baby, let's cut up some lead!"

Baby, I saw you in town,
Lookin' around like you're lookin' around.
Said to myself, "What you doin' tonight?"
I said, "Baby, we're gonna do it right!"

(Not) (Now) That I Found You
adlibbed by Kevin Young

I was lookin' all around to find another.
And I was lookin' to find another just like you.
But why did I have to look,
When there was you right there in front of me?
And now I'm not looking no more,
Not lookin' anymore, 'cause I have found you.

And I was dreamin', just dreamin'.
I was dreamin' of someone like you.
I was dreamin'. Why was I dreamin'?
I was dreamin' of someone just like you.
But I won't dream,
No, I won't dream, not now... not that I found you.

Baby, I've been lookin' a long time. And I couldn't find anyone, not anyone, to match up to you. And I thought you were gone. I thought you were gone, baby! But then, that one mornin', when you came back and I opened my eyes and I saw you, I knew I was in love.

Now I'm in love.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love to stay.
I'm in love with you.
Oh, I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you,
Now that I found you.

I Used To Love You Until Your Hair Got Tangled Up In String
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Well, I used to love you until your head got tangled up into some string.
Yes, I used to love you until your head got tangled up in some string.
Used to love you. I used to love you.

Your hair is so **** now, love, let me tell you.

String.

Carpet
adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Come into my parlor, and sing with me.
Come into my parlor, and we're watchin' "Channel Z"
With the B-52's on MTV.

Hey, man, we're gonna break into a real rap thing now.

I was walkin' down the other day.
I saw a porcupine a-comin' my way.
It was gonna stick me in a place I won't say,
Because it would be painful, needless to say.

Then I had some papier mache.
Made a monkey that other day.
Time I did I was gonna say...

Hey, I got phlegm in my throat, man. What's the deal?

Carpet.

Well, I said that to the owls comin' round.
Hey, there goes a fowl.
Then one entered. It's a big ol' duck.
Then he decided to come my room and...
Sleeve some comic books, I guess, or something like that.

Anyway, he said today,
"I'm gonna play a song with you, May,
If I may. Could I say,
`Bring your monkey, that papier mache?'"

I said, "Hey! Hey, hey!"

Hey, man, what do you think you're singin' there, man? Some kind of Jamaican rap? I don't wanna hear none of that. I'm gonna tell you right this second.

Hey, man, you comin' along.
You comin' along, and you singin' my song.
You comin' along. You come in my mic.
You come in my mic, and I'll show you a ****.
I don't know: Heard that word today.
It's just something, needless to say,
That you don't wanna know if you don't already.

'Cause, but I'm rockin' it steady.
And I'm Freddy. I'm Freddy.
Slash your face, if you'd better get ready.

Yeah!

Lettuce Head
adlibbed by Noby Nobriga

Hey, Lettuce Head!
Head of lettuce.

The Ballad of Swinigin
written by Noby Nobriga and adlibbed by Rusty Spell

Grab a mug of ale, and kick off your boots.
Sit and here the tales of Swinigin McGoots.
He lived long ago in the Land of Fine.
Now he's lyin' down in the rocks of lime.
Fightin' for his life in the fields of grass;
Fought with courage, and kicked some butt!
Makes no matter what those papers say,
He wouldn't live at home till his very last day.
They shot him with a shotgun. Now he's long dead...
And gone.

Oh, Swinigin McGoots.

Well, Swinny McGoots, Swinigin McGoots.
Swinigin, Swinigin, Swinigin McGoots.
Goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goots.
Swinny McGoots had stuff on his boots.
That don't matter, 'cause he's Swinigin McGoots.

McGoots... well, he walked down the road.
And he saw a big toad.
And he said, "You got a load.
I'll carry it on my back
Before you have a big ol' heart attack."
So the toad said, "Thank you very much, Mr. Goots.
I'll tell everyone about your boots,
And get you some new ones, shiny and pretty!"

Well, Mr. McGoots, Mr. McGoots.
Well, he got him a brand new set of boots.
Walked down to his land of Fine;
Found him some women: had a good ol' time.
They liked his boots.
They liked Swinigin McGoots.
McGoots, McGoots.
They liked Swinigin's goots.
And his boots.
And his boots and his goots.
And his boots.

Boo boo boo.
Swinigin, Swinny McGoots.

Now Swinigin, he walked into Newtown one day.
There was a man that came walking his way.
Swinigin walked up to him and said, "Hey, I like your hat."
He said, "Thanks."
And they fought. And they fought.
And they fought over the hat.
And they fought. And they fought.
Until... well, the man shot him in his knat.
Fell right over, dead.

Poor Swinigin, poor Swinny.
Poor Swinigin McGoots.
Poor Swinny, Swinny, Swinny, Swinny, Swinny, Swinny.
Swinigin McGoots.
McGoots.